If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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