Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
being pregnant is like rehab
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Couch. On fire.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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