i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
