The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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