If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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