I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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