I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
