she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
