She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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