the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
