she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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