So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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