Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My vagina just recognized that song.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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