y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize