When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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