she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
