Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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