If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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