Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
