all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
