9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
