I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize