well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
