Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
