he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i wish my penis had a tongue
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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