she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
