I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
