He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
