I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize