So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
