S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
