He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
