Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
