Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
