No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
