I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
