I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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