I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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