Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
