Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
