Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
