a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize