My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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