He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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