So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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