i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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