CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
