I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
