Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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