Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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