Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
