I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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