Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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