He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
