I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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