Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
