Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
