It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
