The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
