i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
