hotel room ftw
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize